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"Who's got the ball?" Why Alistair Cook has it easy

posted 1 Dec 2016, 01:15 by Simon Burr

It's a time for change at TRCC.

Sunday captain Hugh Fort has decided to stand down after eight years to let someone younger, more enthusiastic, better at cricket and certainly more ginger have a go.

Marc Teal is that man.

And the originally nicknamed “Tealo” is stepping into a somewhat bizarre world.

If you imagine the super-organised world of England captain Alistair Cook, a world where he knows each and every field to set to every batsman, how to bowl at every batsman and can rely on his fielders totally, and then consider the exact opposite, that's probably what Marc is stepping into. 

Cook definitely has more  pressure on him to do well, with an army of players willing to step up if he's not up to it. 

He very much doesn't have the scenario most village clubs have with only one person who is semi-willing to do it.

So while Cook has to ensure he scores enough runs not to be dropped and mastermind beating the world's best sides he does not endure the following problems: 

  • Being ready to start and finding his opening bowler is still in the pub
  • Spending all week on the phone trying to get 11 together.
  • Players pulling out on the morning of the game with a hangover (and if they do, he's got an instant pool of ready-made replacements)
  • Setting a field and suddenly realising he's got two men in their sixties next to each other in the field and a very long boundary behind them.
  • His slip fielders aren't in the slips because they can't throw.
  • He doesn't have to find someone to do the score.
  • At no point, do Alistair Cook's fielders shout to him across the field that they are leaving to go to put out the tea.
  • Alistair Cook's fielders probably don't have to put the sightscreens away after the match.
  • International scorers have not been known to shout to the umpire asking how many balls are left in the over.
  • And if they did, the umpire would probably know the answer.
  • International square leg fielders have probably not dropped catches due to the fact they've been chatting to the umpire.
  • Alistair Cook also doesn't have 10 other players who march up to him with absolutely indisputable tactical "advice" (orders)– which totally contradicts advice given by another player a ball earlier.
  • Alistair Cook is unlikely to have ever heard “square leg? Where's that?” in response to putting a fielder in position.
  • Cook is also unlikely to have played in a team with three bowlers, one opener and 10 number seven in it.
Tealo is a man of limitless enthusiasm, but faces numerous other problems the pros would never dream of.  Good Luck

By Hugh Fort